This is not a joke! This is currently going around on the Internet as a joke, but it has an underlying note of something terrible that is happening to all of us. It is a conversation between a customer who calls a pizza place to order. Enjoy it anyway…
The call Operator: “Thank you for calling Scooter’s Pizza. May I have your …”
Customer: “Halloo, can I order?” Operator: “Can I have your cell number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s umm…., hold on … umm…. 082-266-2566 ..” Operator: “OK… you’re …. Mr. Steve Smith and you’re calling from 17 Maple Street. Your home number is 911 403 2366, your office 911 764 2302 and your mobile is 082 266 2566. I see you are calling from your girlfriend’s home. Does your wife know you are there?
Customer: “How did you get all my phone numbers?” Operator: “We are connected to the System, Sir.”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…” Operator: “That’s not a good idea Sir.”
Customer: “How come?” Operator: “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol levels, Sir.”
Customer: “What? What do you recommend then?” Operator: “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?” Operator: “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week, Sir.”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost? Operator: “That should be enough for yourself and your girlfriend’s family of 10, Sir. The total is $20!
Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?” Operator: “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $1,320.55 since June this year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.” Operator: “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawals today.”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready How long is it gonna take anyway?” Operator: “About 45 minutes, Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your Green Double Cab…”
Customer: “What!” Operator: “According to the details in the system, you own a Nissan Double Cab, registration number RB132GP …..”
Customer: “You can go to…, man.” Operator: “Better watch your language, Sir. Remember on the 15th July 1987? You were convicted for using abusive language to a policeman. I need not tell you what happened to you at the local Prison”
Customer: [Speechless] Operator: “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing …… by the way … aren’t you giving me those 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?” Operator: “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… ”
Customer: “Please cancel the order, I would rather sleep on an empty stomach…”
Operator: Ha ha …..
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